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Woman, Make Me a Sandwich — and While You’re at it, Dress Up Like Sailor Moon!

Jai-Ling — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:44:55 +0000

Hey ladies, are you trying to capture the heart of that special guy who’s into you dressing up like an anime character?* Do you have a spare Japanese school girl uniform in your closet?

If so, then Michelle Phan, YouTube celebrity, will teach you how to look like Sailor Moon. The clip does not include instructions on putting together tentacles, however.

*Yeah, we all know there no chance you are but work with me here.

Japan Sugoi: How to transform yourself into Sailor Moon

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Quasi-Communist Government as Embarrassed about Sex as Your Parents

Jai-Ling — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:30:56 +0000

Schools in Beijing are doing about a piss-poor job in sex ed as parents in Utah home schooling their teens. Which is surprising, considering the whole one-child-per-family policy in China.

Like the moms and dads who believe the earth is only 4,000 years old and who actually take Sarah Palin seriously, Chinese educators are notorious for sticking their fingers in their ears and singing “Gong Li had a Little Lamb” when the subject of sex comes up.

From Slate:

Jerry Tseng, a friend who works in finance in Beijing, remembers his school’s sex-ed lesson well, but not for what he learned. That day, Tseng said, his teacher forced an assistant—who until then had not taught a single lesson—to lead the class. The younger instructor stood in front of the students red with embarrassment, unable to broach the subject. Eventually, the students were told to read the chapter themselves. This was the pedagogical method favored by many teachers; the dozen or so Chinese people I asked about this all had similar stories.

Oh, and according to Michelle Tsai’s Slate article on the lack of sex ed in the Middle Kingdom, Chinese college girls also like Sex and the City.

I’m sure her followup article is going to be about how men in China secretly mutter, “Fuck those bitches,” when their girlfriends force them to watch it with them.

Slate: Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex (But Didn’t Learn Because You Grew Up in China)

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Japanese Make Golf More Interesting

Jai-Ling — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:49:15 +0000

I’ve gone on record a number of times expressing my belief that golf is as much of a sport as I am an athlete (read: not very much). It’s a dumb game played with dumber rules (you hit the ball… then you go looking for it).

My suggestions to the PGA have also gone unheard. Stuff like randomly-placed land mines on the green going a long way to make the game more interesting. Tiger Woods would definitely have something to cry and bitch about when his foot’s blown off and finally actually earn his money, IMO.

But a woman’s outfit that turns into mini-green? That would definitely be part of the new golf, after the revolution. It’s from Japan. Of course.

Pink Tentacle: Bra doubles as golf putting mat
Japanator: Take your bra off and play golf with it

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If You’re a Man, You Always Pay for It

Jai-Ling — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:44:01 +0000

… which comes as no surprise to anyone of the male gender. It’s understood. It’s a social contract. But the upside is that with enough money and unlike what Sir Mick Jagger had to say, you can get exactly what you want.

For example: AV idol Maria Ozawa. The Tokyo Reporter checks in with a post about Ozawa working in a brothel, charging 150,000 yen (about $1,700) for a 70 minute session. Ozawa’s an exception to the rule, however, with most AV girls bringing in about $300 to $500.

Surprisingly, the rates for the majority of AV girls who turn tricks on the side also brings them in line with porn stars in the US charging about the same amount on online message boards.

Not surprisingly, the economy and a downturn in their fees are the reasons for the surging interest in female adult performers to “meet” their fans.

The Tokyo Reporter: Maria Ozawa, other acclaimed AV actresses on auction as stagnation sticks

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Chinese Condoms: Unsafe in Any Position

Jai-Ling — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:52:53 +0000

As if having to use a condom doesn’t suck enough, getting something from them would suck even worse. Having them fail and knocking a girl up (because let’s face it, pregnancy is way up there when it comes to STDs) would really suck.

Such is the case with 2 million condoms somewhere in circulation that were sourced from China. The factory that made the rubbers was shut down by Chinese police for making them in unsafe and unsanitary conditions and for using child labor. The condoms were sold under the Durex and Jissbon labels.

So like food, toys and drywall, add condoms to one more thing to worry about if its made in China.

Consumerist: You May Want To Check Your Condoms For A ‘Made in China’ Label

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