A study funded by a chinese software engineer discovered that — gasp! — people like Internet porn. But wait, there’s more!
Turns out that the discovery was made by the CEO of a Chinese software engineering firm, Jinhui Computer System Engineering Co. The firm’s reason for the “study”: to develop software that prevents the viewing of porn and other websites the government deems “harmful.” Apparently the BBC, the Dalai Lama’s homepage and YouTube are elements of moral decay on par with Two Girls One Cup.
The real kicker: The Chinese government wants this software installed on every computer sold in the country.
So do you remember those grindhouse movies Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, the guy who did Hostel and the other guy who was in that band in the’90s did did a few years ago? No? That’s ok because apparently no one else saw them either.
Anyhoo, my main motivation for seeing it, though I never did, was to see Rose McGowan spit hot lead from a leg-mounted automatic weapon. While my particular kink does not involve amputees (usually), I am a sucker for a woman, particularly Rose McGowan, who shoots stuff (the exception being Alaskan governors who believe the universe is 6,000 years old).
“But Wayne,” you’re saying, “what does Rose McGowan have to do with hot Asian women?”
Well, Rose McGowan never had a cannon coming out of her ass:
Enter Hajirai Machine Girl, featuring gravure idol Noriko Kijima. If you loved the schlocktastic Tokyo Gore Police you’ll probably want to roll around in the mud with this one.
A little more than $300 buys all the sushi you can eat for 40 minutes, a blowjob for 40 minutes and quite possibly a bout of salmonella at a restaurant in Shinjuku.
After all, what could possibly go wrong with mixing women’s warm bodies and raw fish that should stay cold? Or dipping your nigiri into the, shall we say, special sauce of a female after stimulating her with a vibrator? (No, I am not making that last part up.)
Wisely, the owner of this shop shut down the operation. He didn’t blame the sanitary conditions directly, but did claim that competition from a naked shabu-shabu restaurant shut his doors. Though it also allowed meats to be soaked in all varieties of exotic female marinades, the other establishment also boiled the food at germ-killing temperature.
All that being said — anyone else hungry for Japanese?
