Not content to make the installation of intrusive crapware mandatory on all PCs sold in China (also notable for being the first PC-only app besides anti-virus and anti-spy software that Mac owners have no interest in), China is turning up the heat on criticizing Google for “disseminating pornographic and vulgar information.”

As a no-fun authoritarian government, I’m sure the Chinese government is sincere about not wanting the free display or expression of boobs — never mind that the Gang of Four sounds like a porn movie and was the inspiration for the name of a punk band.

But it’s really a smokescreen to draw attention away from the second part of that quote — the “vulgar information” part — which, obviously, really means the free display or expression of anything the government doesn’t like by scapegoating the supposed “societal ill” of hot girl-on-guy (and all variants in between) action.

All of this meaning an albino tranny gangbang is as dangerous as the Dalai Lama and information about the Tienamen massacre.

And really, what’s more dangerous in this world than pre-op shemales with no skin pigmentation, an old, bald man and the truth?

China starts meddling with Google results because of porn

The Chinese have fired their own shot across the bow of the breast augmentation corporations of Japan, with their boob-enhancing cookies and mobile ringtones with the Pangao bra in an arms race where everyone wins.

Ok, it’s more of a tit race than an arms race, and to be fair, men, for the most part, win.

The bra massages the chesticles to (supposedly) enhance blood flow, prevent breasts from going flaccid (like what Jesus would have wanted), move fat to improve the figure, help with sleep and boost the immune system.

It also “Make breast up” — something all men can get behind, even if we’re not sure what, exactly, it means.

Magic Massage Bra Enlarges Breasts [Pseudoscience]

You damn kids these days — do you realize that when I was your age, only about five people know what anime was, outside of Voltron, Star Blazers and Robotech?

You have your Adults Swims and DVDs. All the animation you could ever watch. Hell, you can even buy anime soundtracks on Amazon! I even hear that Samuel L. Jackson’s voicing an anime series — Afro Samurai — on G4. I’m sure it’s also the series that says Bad Motherfucker on it.

It turns out, however, that gaijin samurai are not strictly in the fictional realm of animated drawings. Peter Payne, owner of J-List.com, finds two examples of foreigners who joined the country’s warrior class.

Payne tells the story of the real Afro Samurai, Yasuke, a Jesuit priest’s slave that Nobunaga Oda took an interest in. As a retainer in his household, he served Oda and his son faithfully, but was later captured and turned over to the Jesuits.

There’s also William Adams, a caucasian, who was ultimately made a lord (or daimyo) by Ieyasu Tokugawa with a fief, title and retainers in what’s now Yokohama. Kind of like The Last Samurai, only William Adams was probably taller than Tom Cruise. No word if Adams worshipped Xenu or if Iceman would be his wingman anytime.