With the worldwide scare over swine flu — sorry, H1N1 influenza — it’s not just the crappy economy that’s giving people a reason for a staycation, or as Ned Flanders would call it, an imaginary vacation or as I like to call it, just plain lame.

But as someone who’s about to turn 35 and a confirmed bachelor, I know that anywhere can be vacation, so long as there’s pizza and hookers. But one out of two isn’t bad and salarymen in Japan are making the best of their pandemic-dampened Golden Week vacation by giving back to the local economy.

Owners are hoping for a fairly brisk business of happy endings, as opposed to the normally anemic Golden Week business. Even the ladies working in the businesses see the possibility for quick cash from the home-bound men.

But in manner-obsessed Japan, the possibility of married men who don’t know or who’ve forgotten the etiquette of whorehouses is a worry. (Hint — pay AFTER she takes her clothes off. That way you know she’s not a cop. Or a dude. I’m just sayin’ I know a guy that had that happen to him.)

Sex salons to see surge from swine flu

Hot Girl Gallery