As a member of the Porno-American community, I will go on record to say that I am not being served by its parodies. Where’s The XXX-Files? Hawaii Five-HO? Not The McLaughlin Group?

But what do I really want to see? Live action porno anime parodies. Imagine the furry fun with a Dorimon-themed X-rated movie. Spike and Faye actually doing the deed in the NSFW adaptation of Cowboy Bebop. The lesbionic triangle being played out to full effect in Project A-Ko.

However, for those of you — and I know you’re out there — who thought the emotionally fragile teens playing out the Christian endtime in Neon Genesis Evangelion would make for a good porno movie, get ready to turn Japanese with its porn parody. Rei, the series’ cloned Eva pilot prone to serious injury and suicide attacks, is played by AV actress Nao Ayukawa.

Throughout several scenes you witness Rei as you’ve always dreamed of – masturbating through a hole in her skin tight plugsuit, offering sexual favors in class, performing paizuri, receiving mounds of semen in a bukkake fest, servicing several guys at the same time and gets fucked while still wearing her trademark uniform. Nao provides a great mixture of cute and nasty in this eagerly anticipated production.

Available now through J-List.

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Green Lantern has his ring. Iron Man has his suit of powered armor. Batman has all things beginning with with Bat. Wonder Woman has… breasts.

Yeah, breasts. You know and I know that it’s not the golden lasso, but those Amazonian orbs bursting from her bustier that’s really makes men tell her the truth.

But in the upcoming anime Qwaser of Stigmata, kids sent to the Saint Mihailov Academy (like an Eastern Orthodox Xavier Institute of Higher Learning, I guess) let their inner powers shine though the help of breast milk.

Yes, really. The really mind-blowing part is that the series, like most anime, started off as a manga meaning that there’s an audience that knows all about the backstory of the Saint Mihailov Academy and their lactose tolerance.

Suffice to say that I do not expect to see this on Adult Swim anytime soon — despite the premise being less strange and more entertaining than Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job.

Go figure.

Japan Slides Ever Further Into Depravity

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While being able to buy used panties from schoolgirls (supposedly) with your Pocari Sweat and Pocky in Japanese vending machines is the stuff of legend, progress goes onward and upward in the land of tentacle sex and the Prius.

But soiled frilly underthings are so… last century. Enter the new hotness for Japanese vending machines: pussy in a can. Part genius, part Jeffrey Dahmer, but entirely entirely disposable, pussy in a can is proof that you can buy happiness for about as much as a can of Pepsi Throwback.

18 More of the World’s Most Disturbing Sex Toys

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