Like every language, there’s the formal stuff you learn in class, which inevitably leads most people to remembering phrases they’ll never use like “Please pass the butter” and “There’s a fork in my head.”

But let’s say you’re into Japanese women. Well, my friend, then you have a whole new language to learn, literally and figuratively. It goes both ways — you think some nihon-jin would know what the hell a Cleveland Steamer or Dirty Sanchez is? There you go.

For example: jidroi literally means “local chicken.” But it now means taking an image of yourself with a cameraphone or digital camera. Or Sekuusu meaning, well, sex.

Lexicon guide for browsing a Japanese adult site

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away — something we like to call the 1980s — Star Wars didn’t suck because there was no Jar Jar back then, email was something only academics and the military had heard of and porn magazines ruled the world.

Don’t know what a porn magazine is? You damn kids. It’s what we stole and hid in our sock drawers. See, back in my day, we didn’t have the INTERNET and we couldn’t just type boobies in the Googles to see tits. We had to get our porn the old fashioned way — shoplifting.

Apparently, magazines in the Philippines are going strong with the regional Playboy edition going strong and celebrating its first year of printing. A real porn magazine, Playboy doing well — it really is like 1980!

Now if you don’t mind, I have to go because Matlock is on and I have to yell at some kids to get off my lawn.

In Third World Media’s worldwide quest for the hottest talent, we have been to many exotic places and have seen many pretty faces. Some of these beautiful faces are connected to bodies with little to no boobage, other than two tiny bumps in the middle of their chest. Many of these girls live in countries with very large mosquito populations; or “Skeeters” as some of the locals refer to them. These flat chested cuties may not have any cleavage but do show signs of having two Skeeter Bites on the middle of their chests.

Kaho Noguchi is a baby faced J-chick, with two of the freshest bites around. Her pussy is also very neatly shaved; somewhat rare for a young J-chick like herself. She loves getting guys to cum on her flat chest, perhaps hoping them to grow a bit more.

Marcella is a pretty Latina lady with long dark hair, shaved fuck hole and a thick booty. What she doesn’t have is any tits, but that hardly matters a bit, as her mouth, pussy and asshole handle a giant cock pounding and an anal creampie as well.

Ice is a dark-skinned, lovely Thai girl with long hair, pretty face and tiny raisin tipped nipples for boobs. She is small and tiny as a big white guy tears into her mouth and tiny fuck box. They bareback their way to a large cumload on her lovely young face.

Preta has perfect tan-lines and a very exotic look about her. She comes from a country where mosquitoes and the dengue virus are prominent. But lucky for us, she got two perfectly shaped tiny tater tots on her chest; that go along nicely with her Brazilian wax job and ultra fat ass. She likes her meat well done and has a big brotha rip through her front and back doors, on his way to depositing a big wad on her cock hungry, slut face.

Meow is the skinniest and flattest chick we have ever found in Thailand. She has a baby face and a tiny frame; weighing in at under 90 pounds. This doesn’t stop big foreign men from wanting to split this little bitch in half. Her nipples are perky, like 2 freshly swollen skeeter bites. Her hairless hole sucks up cock as her nipples point to the sky and she takes a massive load sprayed all over her face, eyes and tiny little titties.

Ellen is blonde and both beautiful and boobless. The tiny growths on the middle of her chest are likely the result of a mad Brazilian mosquito. She loves to fuck a lot and never uses a rubber, as new guys she meets squeeze her swollen nipple tips and fuck her every hole, before feeding her face-fulls of thick cum.

Azumi Aoi has a thick ass and a hairy J-bush. What she is missing is any hint of tits. What she enjoys is bareback sex with strangers who cum on her hairy fuck box and leave a little to deposit inside her pretty Japanese cherry blossom.

Airi is a cute J-chick who is hungry for cock and isn’t ashamed to admit it. She strips nude in front of a train and isn’t shy a bit about showing us the tiny brown bug bites on her chest, They serve as a great place to offload lots of cum onto.