The original Hello Kitty Vibrator was the stuff of legend and myth not unlike The One Ring or that one guy in college who totally got straight A’s because his roommate committed suicide.

Now generally, when I think of stuff I’d like to get from Japan, it’s usually die-cast Macross Valkyries, exotic electronics from Akihabara, or maybe even some used panties from a vending machine. (Not to wear. To smell. What do you think I am, some kind of pervert?)

But never anything from the Cat with No Mouth — I am a dude, after all. Not even if it’s an Airsoft replica of a fine German assault rifle like a Heckler & Koch HK416 covered in its saccharine cute pink branding. Yes, that is a real photo.

However, this being an Asian sex and sex-related blog, the Hello Kitty Vibrator is news. If there’s a new Hello Kitty vibrator — or a “shoulder massager,” as it’s euphemistically called — it’s even bigger news.

So, here it is from J-List: the soon-to-be-precious for every female porn star in the San Fernando Valley who has a Hello Kitty tattoo — and there’s more than a few of them — or women who just need a “shoulder massage.”

It comes in mandarin, blue, yellow, red, green and of course, pink. It also comes features rabbit ears for those, uh, hard to reach places.

It will also make the sight of a woman pleasuring herself too cute for any man to watch. You have been warned.

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