In a shocking expose, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation reports that college age Thais enjoy being able to buy nice, shiny things and are averse to Yugos, RC Cola and shopping at Wal-Mart.

And the O Henry twist? They’re using sex to pay for their rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. Who could see that coming?

Oh yeah, anyone reading this blog.

In the “land of happy endings,” (feel free to snicker — I did) the article mentions that middle class college students are entering Thailand’s “Holy-shit-it’s-how-big?” sex industry.

Unlike other whores, the Thais “are offering sex for money in order to finance a more affluent and glamorous lifestyle.” This runs counter to international conventions and treaties regarding the sex trade which states that workers should only do it to secretly find their true love, who are preferably American, rich, and look like Richard Gere.

While the underclass turns tricks for, apparently, the only acceptable reason — crushing, inescapable poverty — college-age Gucci-grabbing, iPhone-grubbing whores of the bourgeoisie are, apparently, a national tragedy.

Thais entering sex industry to fund affluence: study