Here’s something you probably didn’t know about Japan — besides cars, TVs and cartoons of tentacle sex, they’re also edging out American companies in masturbatory aids.

Onani holes, and if you’ve read this far you probably have a good idea of what this is and where it’s going, are a class of products for guys who prefer to fly solo. Tenga, a Japanese sex toy manufacturer, proved its technical prowess by developing a “hole warmer” to heat the toys, because nothing’s more undignified than putting your wang into a cold, artificial pussy.

The device won the praise of an unmarried office worker (no joke needed here), who said “I’ll lubricate mine with heated lotion and ohhhh, it’s just like a meiki. Definitely feels better than a hooker’s at some sex shop.”

Um, yeah.

Innovative ‘Hole Warmer’ keeps cold cooze cozy

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