Like Bill Murray in Ghostbusters, I’m very fuzzy about good/bad things. But one thing that’s firmly in the bad column, it seems, is shooting porn in China. It’s don’t-even-think-about-it bad.

So here’s the thing: as pornographers, we’re used to people rolling out the red carpet and treating us like royalty where ever we go. Ok, not really, but so long as things are kept fairly quiet, there’s not much in the way of complaints (usually/hopefully).

Enter “Kappa Girl,” so nicknamed because of the store in Shanghai where she worked. Kappa Girl, you see, went a little Paris Hilton and recorded her, ahem, acts of passion on her mobile. While that’s not notable in the US, where about 10 celebrity sex tapes are “stolen” an hour, this is a big deal in China.

Her 12 minute video became an instant download sensation and led to her detention by the police and dismissal from her job. Shooting an amateur video in this workers’ paradise, it seems, is on par with being buddies with the Dalai Lama.

But don’t fret, fellow porn fans! Kappa Girl’s learned the first rule of the free market — everyone’s a whore. She’s charging about $3,000 for a bar appearance, $7,000 to model underwear and demanded $4,300 from a reporter before she’s sit down to an interview.

The Western porn industry’s also graciously stepped in, with UK-based studio Harmony Films offering her a contract to get in on that sweet, sweet, potential billion-plus raincoater market.

Well played, Kappa Girl. Well played… except for the getting arrested thing and the maybe going to jail thing. Are there women in Chinese prison named Large Marge who read Gertrude Stein?

‘Kappa Girl’ fired for sex video

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Pity the poor, glamorous, good-looking women and all the discrimination they face. These comely ladies, never knowing an easy day, are passed over for promotions, social advancement and even dates by their middle-of-the-bell curve competition.

Will nothing come easy for these females who are so easy on the eyes?

They are in Japan, apparently, where the beautiful struck a blow against discrimination by putting their more average Japanese sex worker sisters in the unemployment line.

Japanese news reports noted that “operators” of sex businesses are finding “pretty women” looking for work due to the recession. Julia Roberts could not be found for a comment, nor was it known if any of these operators answered to the name of Huggy Bear.

Showing a gift for the obvious,’50s slang enthusiast and reporter Yukio Kamimura said, “Good-looking dames are necessary to bring back repeat customers.”

Of more interest to daddy-o’s and hip cats everywhere, however, is the fact that women are encouraged to do more. Massage parlors that usually limited services to “sumata,” or penile labial massage, are now giving the OK to go all the way. Other women are following the example of spray-on hair and the Super Bass-o-Matic, going direct to the consumer by offering more for less than a “rub down.”

Plain Janes out in the cold as sex businesses attract beauties

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